"A Dog Show Poem"
(Silkwind's Centurion ML, "Franky" taking Best of Breed at Mt. Ogden KC)
January 2, 2000 - March 12, 2013
There was a time, there really was,
when I was sweet and tender;
When SHOW DOG meant a Disney Star,
and Bitch was not a gender.
I went to bed at half past ten,
I went to church on Sunday.
On Saturday I baked the beans,
and did the wash on Monday.
But then I got a certain pup,
and an erstwhile friend said, "SHOW."
And so I did, and so I do,
OH! What I didn't know.
I used to dress with flair and style;
That was the life, don't knock it.
But now each dress from bed to ball
Must have a good bait pocket.
I used to have a certain air,
I wallowed in perfume.
I used to smell of Nuit D'Amour,
Now I smell like Mr. Groom.
My furniture was haut decor,
my pets a tank of guppies.
Now I've furniture unstuffed,
and well-adjusted puppies.
Once I spoke in pristine prose,
in dulcet tones and frail.
But now I'm using language,
that would turn a sailor pale.
I was taught to be well-groomed
no matter where I went.
Now all the grooming that I do
is in the handlers tent.
I used to long for clothes and jewels,
and a figure classed as super.
Now the thing I yearn for most
is a nice Pooper-Scooper.
I adored a man who murmured verse
through intimate little dinners.
But now the words I thrill to hear
are just three' "Best of Winners."
I rise at dawn and pack the car,
the road ahead a long one.
The one I routed on the maps
invariably the wrong one.
I really love this doggy life,
I wouldn't care to change it.
But when I get that BEST IN SHOW
I plan to rearrange it.
And when my time on earth is done,
I'll go without much nudging.
Just give me three weeks closing date,
and let me know who's judging.